30.12.19

Got Full marks for Disobedience?



The famous American essayist and poet Henry David Thoreau said and I quote ‘Disobedience is the true foundation of liberty. The obedient must be slaves.’ Unquote.

I am enamoured by this quote and understood very early in life that it is not easy to live it.
As I begin to introduce myself, I have to say- I am a girl from Bihar. Now, I have already hit the abyss, isn’t it? Across the globe, as soon as a girl is born, she inherits the responsibility to disobey the patriarchal mores and sexism to prove her merit and the perception about the state I come from makes it even more difficult.

Nonetheless, I enjoyed disobeying my parents like most adolescents and teens do but being a girl, it wasn’t easy. I come from an education-oriented family however, my parents were not too ambitious about my education and hoped that it should be to the extent that it fetches a good match for their daughter. They had chosen the treaded path of science for me and Imagine, back then I disobeyed and chose to study advertising for my graduation. Well, my parents had no clue what their daughter was studying until I topped the first year and later all three years of graduation. For a change, my father was in agreement, happy and proud. Our relationship was becoming ideal and then I went on to crack one of the leading Communications B-Schools- Mudra Institute of Communications, Ahmedabad. My father was even more proud and I was glad for making him so.
It has often happened with me in life that as the journey starts getting smooth, there always comes a bump at the time when I am about to reach the destination. And so also it happened when I was just 6 months away from completing my MBA. In the middle of a dance rehearsal for an upcoming event at college, I received a phone call to be informed that my father is critically unwell with heart-attack and wanted me to visit home. For all I knew, I had the least idea that he was no more when I was informed about his desire to meet me.
There are turning points in life for all and that probably was mine. While all my friends were targeting corporate jobs in metro cities, I prayed that I get a job in Patna where my mother stayed alone. And when you really want something, the universe conspires to make that happen for you. In the most unlikely turn of events, government of Bihar for its Mahatma Gandhi National Rural Employment Guarantee Act (MGNREGA) Biometric based project now evolved into UIDAI/Aadhar was looking for a communication professional from MICA.
Well, who would like to go to Patna after studying at MICA, so I got my first job hands down in order to be by my mother’s side when she needed me the most. While everyone at college including myself believed that my decision to start my career from a small city is full of risks in terms of career growth opportunities, in hind-sight that decision proved to be the biggest booster for my career. It was a blessing in disguise which carved my path for my entry into one of the most reputed organizations in the world- the United Nations.
While my resolution to take care of my lonely mother and career were set, the constant pressure to get married was looming large on the horizon. Well not all my college time decisions turned to be useful and one of the most unpromising of them was to turn down Aki’s proposal.
Anyway, with my experience, I can equate the exercise of finding a marriageable guy with that of pollution in Delhi. It only gets worse every passing year. Well eventually, I came across my present husband and here began another episode of dis-obedience.
My mother and brother hoped me to be settled in a happily ever after marriage but as opposed to their imagination I chose a nomad who shifts locations every 2 years and that too to places one would have never heard of before popular films like Uri hit the screens. Yes, I married an Army-Officer and after 6 years of long-distance marriage, recently we started living a married life in Delhi.
In the meanwhile, I had already spent 7.5 years living alone and working in India’s North-East. Suddenly, last year, I felt that ‘mid-life crisis’ has hit me before time and I took another unusual decision to avail Special Leave from work and re-connect with self and life with fresh vigor. I shifted to Delhi to stay with my husband. And as I am left with only 6 months into my leave with multitude of incomplete plans, I am not sure whats the next big disobedience I am going to take up.

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